This week did a fantastic job of easing us into all the activity of the next several to come. Considering we've had about a month of perma-vacation...what with JC being home from work and our activity being limited, but also getting to spend a ton of time together as a family. It's been a good time.
Of course, I'm not the one who has been dealing with recovery from a surgery and all that, but I'd say even with it's ups and downs, it's been a pretty great opportunity to take things a little easier and just accept the idea of rest, recovery, and quality time.
An example of a bit of rest for the little ones:
We discovered James watching the rest time movie like this one day.
That thing on his head, astronaut-style is a drum with the lid removed, turned upside down.
That thing on his head, astronaut-style is a drum with the lid removed, turned upside down.
With it off, you can see his handsome face.
Bethany, resting.
Ben resting.
Two things I'd like to point out - - my kids are so darn cute. And...rest time is clearly on its way out.
More from the week...
Flowers JC bought me when he took his first post-surgery trip out by himself to the store.
Aren't they pretty? I LOVE them.
Aren't they pretty? I LOVE them.
He also bought the kids each their own recorders on that trip to the store.
Brave daddy.
They LOVE them.
Ben begins his song and march.
Everyone gets into the groove.
Talented, eh?
Things got a little too exciting and our oh-so-intense middle child ended up in time out.
This is often the case.
Oh, sweet James. Someday that intensity will be a bit more corralled and get you places other than time out.
Happy faces, happy songs.
Our Thanksgiving celebration began on Saturday, with the Kear Family Gathering! We all came to Polly's house for some time together. We had some good food, fun conversation, and...well, see for yourself...
Cousin playtime!
The game changed constantly, but it started out with Bethany being a cat...or a monster...of some sort...
The game changed constantly, but it started out with Bethany being a cat...or a monster...of some sort...
Then it turned into admiration of Grandma Polly's orange tree. Lovely.
And lots of giddy running around...
with a dramatic finish.
JC and Bethany found themselves at a table full of Uno cards and Kear Competition.
The game was so fierce that when I took this picture, Kaitlynn turned around and glared at me, concerned I was catching her hand in the shot with intention to betray her.
Seriously.
And it was SERIOUSLY darn cute.
(Turns out I did actually catch her hand in the shot, though I swore I didn't. Luckily I didn't realize it at the time and therefore did not use it against her. Gotta be careful where you tread in a game of Uno these days.)SO....that's...about...it.
Like I said, I can feel that holiday season coming on with all of its joys as well as its hectic moments. But I have been thinking a lot about hectic moments. Really...a lot. For a while now. And I'm not scared of them anymore.
Ha! Take that, hectic...ness...
Seriously, though, before we went to Huntington back at the end of September, I was all stressed and headache-y and at some point I decided that since I was about to leave on vacation I just needed to start a bit early...worry about things on my "to do" list less, hang out with the kids more (even more), enjoy time with JC without worry about what we could or should be getting done, etc. Try, oh try to accept that I can't keep my house organized, my time structured, and my ambitions entertained 24/7. It was just a week, right? Then a week out of town. Then, back to business.
I did all of this and it was great. Hard to get used to but great.
Then, once I was back in the swing of things, back to the daily grind...it didn't feel right. Something didn't feel right. I didn't know what, but I figured I wasn't going to get any closer to finding out if I was so gosh darn busy in my head all the time. So, I decided to extend my vacation frame of mind. By this I don't mean I lounge around or read novels all day...just a mental slow down, a break in the sprint toward lifelong goals, the scampering from one thought to another, all while trying to be present and involved with my children day in and day out.
I felt like it was just time to slow down. To stop thinking, stop striving so hard, and learn how to be still in my mind and heart, to trade in picking apart every thought in my head to death for simply...pondering. And listening. And being.
I started trying it out. I gave up my daily rest time work sessions in the office. Sitting in an oversized leather chair fretting about which looming project to work on every day for an hour or so while the kids are watching a movie somehow left me more tense instead of less. I always felt like if I got more done, I would feel better. Somehow that's not the case. I can't necessarily explain that, but I definitely feel it.
Now I snuggle with them during their rest time. Or I lay on the floor and do some reading. Or I just breathe. I try to rest my mind...my feet...my back...my worries...just like I am hoping they are resting their little bodies enough to get through the rest of the day happily.
Me too. :)
I started training my mind to move away from negative thoughts, worrisome thoughts and anything of a fretful nature. I worked on banishing fear and drawing in peace.
I tried to stop planning and figuring and replace it with praying instead.
Replace fear with faith.
Replace busy with peaceful.
Replace frazzled with happy.
Push ambition aside and welcome a period of simple existence.
I have so much to say about all of this. So much that I have been learning, feeling, and rejoicing in. Quietly. And I can't wait to say it all. But it's all still floating around, I'm still existing in this process of learning to be at peace. I'm still being taught.
But I will say this - I find it quite interesting that within a couple of weeks of making this deal with myself to take a few steps back, put nearly everything on the back burner in my life and focus on just the present, JC ended up with that hernia of his.
He was going to be home, needing help with some things. He was going to be able to help with the kids less. My responsibilities were going to be more for a while. Our schedule was going to change. Our ability to get up and go was going to change. We were going to have more time together. Time that needed peace and enjoyment and...not a stressed mommy.
The people who know me best (namely, my parents) know all too well that I have a hard time being told what to do. I like for things to be my idea. If you tell me I have to do something...even if I would have on my own anyway...good luck convincing me to do it. Even if it's a good thing.
So, I have a feeling that had this period of time come our way before I committed to a more laid-back existence, forcing me into prioritizing and simplifying, I would have been a terror to live with. I would have struggled so hard against the idea of being forced to take things easy for a while.
But funny how it came after I felt impressed to do so.
I think Heavenly Father threw down just enough unease in my soul to cause me to change things up. Perhaps to prepare me for a time...not a bad time by any means...but a time in which those things would have been ripped out from under me whether I liked it or not.
This way, it was my idea.
My choice.
Or at least this is His way of letting me think that so I don't throw a fit.
I am pretty sure this means that, spiritually, I'm a toddler.
This explains a lot.
JC goes back to work tomorrow. He is excited, we are excited for him and...life is starting to roll along again, perhaps somewhat normally.
But really, do things ever stay the same long enough for anything to be considered normal?
Anyway, enough of my musings for now. I hope that, as the holidays start rolling in, the season brings more peace as opposed to less.
Which reminds me of a quote I heard today in Relief Society that I believe could change my life:
"What we focus on expands."
Roll that around in your brain, why don't ya?
Good stuff.
Like I said, I can feel that holiday season coming on with all of its joys as well as its hectic moments. But I have been thinking a lot about hectic moments. Really...a lot. For a while now. And I'm not scared of them anymore.
Ha! Take that, hectic...ness...
Seriously, though, before we went to Huntington back at the end of September, I was all stressed and headache-y and at some point I decided that since I was about to leave on vacation I just needed to start a bit early...worry about things on my "to do" list less, hang out with the kids more (even more), enjoy time with JC without worry about what we could or should be getting done, etc. Try, oh try to accept that I can't keep my house organized, my time structured, and my ambitions entertained 24/7. It was just a week, right? Then a week out of town. Then, back to business.
I did all of this and it was great. Hard to get used to but great.
Then, once I was back in the swing of things, back to the daily grind...it didn't feel right. Something didn't feel right. I didn't know what, but I figured I wasn't going to get any closer to finding out if I was so gosh darn busy in my head all the time. So, I decided to extend my vacation frame of mind. By this I don't mean I lounge around or read novels all day...just a mental slow down, a break in the sprint toward lifelong goals, the scampering from one thought to another, all while trying to be present and involved with my children day in and day out.
I felt like it was just time to slow down. To stop thinking, stop striving so hard, and learn how to be still in my mind and heart, to trade in picking apart every thought in my head to death for simply...pondering. And listening. And being.
I started trying it out. I gave up my daily rest time work sessions in the office. Sitting in an oversized leather chair fretting about which looming project to work on every day for an hour or so while the kids are watching a movie somehow left me more tense instead of less. I always felt like if I got more done, I would feel better. Somehow that's not the case. I can't necessarily explain that, but I definitely feel it.
Now I snuggle with them during their rest time. Or I lay on the floor and do some reading. Or I just breathe. I try to rest my mind...my feet...my back...my worries...just like I am hoping they are resting their little bodies enough to get through the rest of the day happily.
Me too. :)
I started training my mind to move away from negative thoughts, worrisome thoughts and anything of a fretful nature. I worked on banishing fear and drawing in peace.
I tried to stop planning and figuring and replace it with praying instead.
Replace fear with faith.
Replace busy with peaceful.
Replace frazzled with happy.
Push ambition aside and welcome a period of simple existence.
I have so much to say about all of this. So much that I have been learning, feeling, and rejoicing in. Quietly. And I can't wait to say it all. But it's all still floating around, I'm still existing in this process of learning to be at peace. I'm still being taught.
But I will say this - I find it quite interesting that within a couple of weeks of making this deal with myself to take a few steps back, put nearly everything on the back burner in my life and focus on just the present, JC ended up with that hernia of his.
He was going to be home, needing help with some things. He was going to be able to help with the kids less. My responsibilities were going to be more for a while. Our schedule was going to change. Our ability to get up and go was going to change. We were going to have more time together. Time that needed peace and enjoyment and...not a stressed mommy.
The people who know me best (namely, my parents) know all too well that I have a hard time being told what to do. I like for things to be my idea. If you tell me I have to do something...even if I would have on my own anyway...good luck convincing me to do it. Even if it's a good thing.
So, I have a feeling that had this period of time come our way before I committed to a more laid-back existence, forcing me into prioritizing and simplifying, I would have been a terror to live with. I would have struggled so hard against the idea of being forced to take things easy for a while.
But funny how it came after I felt impressed to do so.
I think Heavenly Father threw down just enough unease in my soul to cause me to change things up. Perhaps to prepare me for a time...not a bad time by any means...but a time in which those things would have been ripped out from under me whether I liked it or not.
This way, it was my idea.
My choice.
Or at least this is His way of letting me think that so I don't throw a fit.
I am pretty sure this means that, spiritually, I'm a toddler.
This explains a lot.
JC goes back to work tomorrow. He is excited, we are excited for him and...life is starting to roll along again, perhaps somewhat normally.
But really, do things ever stay the same long enough for anything to be considered normal?
Anyway, enough of my musings for now. I hope that, as the holidays start rolling in, the season brings more peace as opposed to less.
Which reminds me of a quote I heard today in Relief Society that I believe could change my life:
"What we focus on expands."
Roll that around in your brain, why don't ya?
Good stuff.
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