The Examined Life...

Okay: When, on Monday, Ben is finally back to his old self (beside a nagging cough) and Bethany comes down with a fever that worsens by the end of the day and leaves her miserable, I cry for her.
Questionable: I cry for me.

Not okay: In my irritation, I nag JC. (Which, he calmly takes and sweetly lets roll of his back.)

Okay: On Tuesday, I give Bethany a good healthy breakfast.

Questionable: After she eats and is feeling better, with a much lower temperature, I let her run around and play with her brothers.

Not okay: I become complacent and when James refuses his vitamins in the morning, I set them aside to try again later and forget.

Okay: When JC calls to say he is off for the rest of the day, the kids and I are so excited we decide to celebrate and spend the morning doing a fun family outing to Hobby Lobby (for me), Sportsmans (for JC and the kids...they LOVE it there.) and Target (for everybody).

Questionable: We spend too much time and money at all of the above.

Not okay: After realizing it's about lunch time, we grab chicken nuggets on the way home for the kids.

Okay: We spend that afternoon doing some decorating in the playroom/family room using the stuff we bought at Hobby Lobby, completing projects I've had on the brain for quite a while.

befores:

Questionable: When Bethany's fever comes back, with a vengeance, and she begins throwing up (you guessed it) chicken nuggets and everything else she had eaten that day, we give her lots of love, make sure she's completely happy and comfortable in front of a movie, with plenty of water...and resume decorating to keep a little sanity.

afters

Not okay: Anticipating more very dirty towels (read: vomit towels), we put some in the wash machine figuring we'll run it later after we add more to the load...then, she just happens to not get sick anymore and we happen to forget about it...until the next morning.


Okay: Feeling quite gross at the end of the day, I take a nice shower.
Questionable: I neglect cleaning up after the day in order to do so.
Not okay: Even after serious scrubbing, my feet remain a very stubborn black from being barefoot nearly all day on my neglected floors. Mason used to call this "housewife feet."


Okay: Wednesday, even though Bethany's fever has broken and we are all feeling somewhat decently, we lay around all morning reading books and watching movies. I cancel plans with Alissa to keep from passing anything on to her. (Thanks for being understanding!)
Questionable: I still force them to take naps against their wishes, planning to clean up the house while they are down and have a fresh start after they wake up. James throws the biggest fit about this and I let him stay upstairs to watch a Barney episode to avoid a huge tantrum. (weak, I know.)
Not okay: When plan backfires and he STILL throws a big fit when I try to take him downstairs for a nap, waking up Ben, I put him in his crib and tell him that if he doesn't stop crying so I can put Ben back to sleep, he will not be able to go to preschool when he's three. (Can you see the panic/desperation setting in at this point? Haha...it's so sad...)


Okay: I finally get Ben back to sleep...then James to sleep...the Ben back to sleep again...and realize that I am beginning to feel a bit loopy, so I decide that I should take at least a few minutes while all is quiet to lay down and breathe deeply.
Questionable: I lay down right there on the floor in the hallway, outside their doors.
Not okay: I fall completely asleep for over an hour and when I wake up to Ben crying, I find that both my arms also fell completely asleep due to being used as my pillow. I cannot pick him up for several minutes.


Okay: I make homemade spaghetti sauce for our dinner that night.
Questionable: I eat more than I should.
Not okay: This is only the beginning of what will become a pattern of stress-eating throughout the rest of the week.

Okay: Thursday, my mom is over to play with and take care of the kids, so I attack the house to get it as clean as possible, hoping I can clean the sick out of our house...by the end of the morning, everything is picked up, sheets, blankets and stuffed animals are sanitized, etc. A guy is scheduled to come blow out our vents, a company is on call to come deep clean and disinfect our house (with environmentally friendly products, of course...I love that I found someone to do this!) after the vent guy and I've got an air detox working its magic in the meantime.
Questionable: I put JC to work on his day off, assigning him to the back porch and patio just in case germs are lurking and finding their way in.
Not okay: James comes down with a low fever that afternoon. (I know that's not something I did, but it's still not okay with me!)

James tried to play outside.

Ended up inside.

Okay: Friday morning, I decide to keep plans to go out to Queen Creek to see Ali and her kids since James seems to be doing okay and Ali promises she doesn't mind...we needed out of this house!!!
Questionable: When he gets worse, after a conversation with and an offer from my mom, he goes to have lunch and naptime with Grandma Trudie while the rest of us head out for our play date. (This is probably not that questionable, he was actually really excited to hang with Grandma...he had just been so excited about seeing Ali - - who he seems to have a bit of a crush on - - that I felt bad going without him!)
Not okay: Later that night, I think I catch a glimpse of a red spot on his leg while getting him dressed in pajamas but figure it was just the lighting.


Okay: Work on a meal plan that night to help me get one step closer to having our three-month supply on hand.
Questionable: Become discouraged when, after an hour, I realize I am not going about it the most efficient way and decide to start over. Become discouraged when I realize that I am being a perfectionist and I am tired of fighting that trait. Become discouraged when I realize that I don't really want to fight that trait, I kind of like it sometimes . . .
Not okay: In my frustration, I walk away from it for the night, go in the other room where JC is waiting patiently for me to come hang out with him (Friday IS supposed to be our date night, whether in or out) and I take my frustration out on him by being irritable. (Luckily, he doesn't let me get away with it, makes me talk about what's bothering me - - even though it ends up going much deeper than a meal plan - - then rubs my back while I fall asleep. Yeah, I know, where did I get this guy?)


Okay: When we wake up Saturday morning to an even more miserable James, I decide not to clean out closets like I planned.
Questionable: When we discover that James has an ankle the size of a baseball due to a mosquito bite (which he has severe reactions to), I blame myself for not paying better attention to that red spot the night before. Could have treated it then and kept it from getting so bad.
Not okay: At one point or another, feel frustrated with him when he won't stop crying and nothing I can do will help.


Okay: Decide to have leftover spaghetti for lunch and get breadsticks from Fazoli's to go with it. Also decide to take a walk with the kids in strollers to get us out of the house and into the gorgeous October weather, figuring it will be good for James to move around since his ankle was so swollen he couldn't even walk.
Even better: Yeah, new category. Decide that we should combine our two ideas, save on some fuel, get some extra exercise and fresh air and walk to Fazoli's to buy breadsticks. (There is one remotely close to our house, just a bit further than we would normally walk) Immensely enjoy the whole concept.
Questionable: Allow Ben to fall asleep for his nap as we're walking. (though I sure wouldn't object to sleeping outdoors with the warm sun blanketing me and the gentle breeze swirling around my toes...being pushed along in a semi-comfy stroller...)
Not okay: Cursing, in my head, when we finally get to Fazoli's and find it has been closed down.


Okay: Try to be patient when James is impossible to please and extremely weepy when we get home.
Questionable: When he randomly stops crying and says "I want Monkey Munch" I run to the kitchen to make it for him. (Monkey Munch is our name for the rice chex snack with the melted peanut butter and chocolate, tossed in powdered sugar...I've also heard it called Muddy Buddies and Puppy Chow.)
Not okay: After giving him and Bethany a small amount, I proceed to snack on it for..the...rest...of...the...day... (NEVER have stuff like this around when you're in a emotional eating cycle!)



Okay: Even though James did enjoy the walk and took a good nap, his fever is so high, throat is so swollen-sounding and ankle-mosquito-bite is so strange looking and HUGE, I send him to Urgent Care with JC and try to give Bethany and Ben some quality time. Then, while they eat dinner, re-read Pres. Uchtdorf's talk from Relief Society Conference and L. Tom Perry's from Saturday morning session.
Questionable: Multi-grain cheerios, baked potato and fruit for dinner for Bethany and Ben. A popsicle for James. (This was after he got back from Urgent Care with a diagnoses of mild strep and freakish reactions to mosquito bites. Receive instructions to ride it out and try to avoid letting him get bitten. This part I knew but I was glad to have a diagnoses for his fever/throat problems.)

When Ben felt done with his potato, he started throwing it...some of it landed very nicely on top of his head and stayed there for quite some time.

Not okay: Stress-ate Totino's Pizza Rolls for dinner with JC after the kids went to bed. Enjoyed it very much.


Okay: Skipped church today since James was still contagious (though his ankle had gone down considerably and he could limp around). Dressed the kids in warm clothes and kept the doors to the back patio/balcony open to let in fresh air and help the general morale of the family!

This is after it had gone down quite a bit...I had a hard time getting a good picture of it.

What Bethany and Ben did...

What James did...

Questionable: Forced James' medicine down his throat somewhat violently. (Well, it was really him being violent, not us, but it still feels awful when you have to do that...)

Not okay: Locked myself in the bathroom again later that afternoon when, again, the poor kid was feeling so crummy he just wanted to scream and cry and not be helped by anybody. No matter what I did, even if it was what he asked for, he would throw a giant screaming fit. Understandable. But still taxing on the mom-psyche.

Okay: Have Kleenex on hand to wipe runny noses.

Questionable: Discover Ben pulling them out of the box one by one and excitedly scattering them all over the playroom. Let him continue because it is keeping him happy.

Not okay: Leave them there for over 24 hours.

Okay: Try to keep everyone as happy as possible this evening.

Questionable: Notice Ben's diaper is getting soggy but figure it's almost bedtime and I'll change it then.

Not okay: Upon him starting to scream right before bed, change his diaper and find he was not JUST soggy, but quite poopy as well (non-smelling kind apparently)...and with a red, irritated bottom to show for it. In the last post, JC talked about being heartbroken for neglected children...probably didn't realize our own could soon be considered as such.

Okay: Decide to blog about our week to unwind and keep me from snacking.

Questionable: Snacked anyway.

Not okay: When JC (keeper of the baby monitor while I blog) walks in here a few minutes ago and says "You ready for this? Bethany is crying and saying she threw up" I feel a sudden urge to laugh hysterically.