The Rewards of Good Behavior . . .

So, I decided a while back that we needed some sort of reward system in place for the kids' good behavior. Or...lack of bad behavior...or whatever.

It just seems it is so easy to fall into the constant refrain of "no!" "stop!" "don't!", etc. 

If I were my kid, I'd probably get sick of always hearing about the negative...even if that was what kept me from doing dangerous things, injuring my siblings or breaking all my things.

We did the hay thing, building up the manger for Christmas...I'll probably get back into that sometime when I can do some prepwork and commit to carrying around little pieces of yarn all day...but for now, for positive reinforcement, we're relying mostly on our star system.

I try (in a baby-stepping kind of way) to follow the 1-2-3 Magic method when it comes to inappropriate behavior (the gist of it is calmly counting them when they misbehave, then at three, putting them in a time-out...pretty basic stuff, the most important part of it is learning to show no emotion about it and be consistent in enforcing the method). So, when the kids get counted to three, they get a time out. Unless it involves hurting someone else, then it is an automatic 3 and time-out. 

So, to bring this all into a way of keeping them accountable and being able to have the opportunity to reward them, I took a little white board and put their names at the top, giving everyone their own little column. Every day, everyone starts out with six stars. Once a time-out is given, a star is erased. At the end of the day, the number of stars left on the white board translates into stickers we put onto little charts hanging in their bedrooms. Once they fill up their chart (probably about two weeks' worth of perfect days...but who ever has those?! so it takes longer of course), they have earned a date out, all by themselves, with mom or dad. And since they see a bit too much of me as it is, so far JC has taken them out...they get pretty excited about it, of course!

The place of choice - - Peter Piper Pizza. It's close, it's relatively inexpensive and it's fun for them. Food, games, etc. 

Both Bethany and James have recently filled up their charts...then everyone got sick...BUT, we were finally able to let them cash in all those star stickers this last week! (By the way, Ben doesn't do the whole chart thing yet...though he has had a couple time outs that I can remember...which was actually hilarious and heart-breaking at the same time...)

So, after all that explanation, here are some pictures of the kids enjoying their time out (this time, in a good way) with Dad...

There are a lot less pictures of Bethany because she is in a phase where she refuses to have her picture taken most of the time. 

I have no idea.

But, here they are:

I really think James loves nothing more than sausage pizza. I have no idea where my kids' love for sausage came from. I am not a fan. And I really try to avoid giving them..strange...meat...or whatever it is. But they LOVE it anyway! I also am okay with it because he loves it so much he forgets to notice that the pizza doesn't have any cheese, which would actually make him more sick than sausage could!

Mmm..

A happy kid.

Just look at his face.

You can't tell me he isn't looking for a reaction to his obvious misbehavior here.

He took a liking to this game, so JC tells me.

And apparently it took a liking to him too. Jackpot!

Best facial expression ever.

Riding rides...

Winning stuff...

He had a BLAST!  He ended up winning like, seven hundred something tickets from that game...he had a plethera of choices to bring home as his prizes...he chose a few plastic animals. Wanted nothing more. Sounds like James.

A few days later, it was Bethany's turn!

She also rode rides...

and played games...

And probably enjoyed herself just as much...we just don't get to see it. :) My camera shy little girl.

She won some tickets and got herself a purple tiara, a little plastic dog and a pretty little butterfly. With James' extra tickets leftover, she helped JC pick out a stuffed big bird doll for Ben. He loves him some big bird.

Even though I'm not always great about being consistent with consequences for inappropriate behavior and reinforcing good behavior, I do try to be purposeful in my parenting and give them as much consistency and structure as I can. I like giving them the opportunity to be rewarded. I am very blessed to have kids who really do want to make good choices...half the time when they misbehave, I don't blame them because I do see where their actions come from (hectic day, slacking on my part...being two...etc.). But, I do want them growing up knowing that our choices have consequences, good and bad. (I think that is a joyschool song...) This is my little way of trying to teach that concept!

Besides, they can always use a chance to get out with Daddy. What a treat!