30 Things I'm Grateful For This Week . . .

1. The way a Mom-mind works. When the going has been tough, we have a way of being unable to recall details of those times...which, paired with the glorious returns in love we receive from our sweet children, is the reason we are able to stay in the game. (For example, I don't know many moms who, in the midst of the first weeks with their first baby, swore they weren't having any more. It's so much more overwhelming and demanding than anything else you've ever experienced, it just appears actually physically impossible to repeat. One would die from repeating the cycle of feeding, changing, not sleeping, feeding, worrying, feeding, learning, crying, feeding, loving, feeding, not sleeping, not sleeping, not sleeping even one more time. I was so there...yet, hmm, I was pregnant again four months later. On purpose.) We wipe these times from our mind's eye so that we can serve our purpose...or at least our main purpose...in this lifetime. :)

2. The clarity of mind granted to me so that I may make hard decisions when it comes to my children's health (together with JC, of course). At one point in time I could only muster up the ability to act in whatever way was presented to me. Which was fine. Now, I can think, ponder, research, pray, feel, listen, love and then act. And it brings much peace of mind knowing that I am caring for my kids with their long-term well-being in mind. (Did both those words need hyphens? I am still not granted gramatical clarity...did I misspell gramatical? ...or misspell?...)

3. A job where JC is highly valued and needed, yet when he becomes miserably sick, his need to care for himself is understood and supported. 

4. A James that loves to play by himself and never feels neglected if this is what he must do all morning...for a few mornings in a row. It is his preference anyway, so even if Mom and brother are sick and sister is grumpy, he doesn't really know the difference. Just keeps up the role play with the jungle animals either way.

5. A feverish baby that, even though he is teething and has an ear infection and is hotter than just about anything, will wake up once an hour at night...but just want a little comforting and will then go right back to sleep and even reply (every time) to my whispered, "I love you, goodnight" with a "wah yoo, 'night."  This granted me the opportunity to see him often and be reassured that even though he was miserable he was okay and also the opportunity to still get some sleep...even though every time I got up with him I noticed my throat getting more and more swollen and sore, my body moving slower and slower and my energy level dropping like...like...something heavy.

6. A husband that, on night two of the above routine, took over the hourly call of duty so that I could get some delirious sleep.

7. A Mom that welcomed a bored-out-of-her-mind and tired-of-all-these-sickies Bethany to her house for an afternoon so James could play by himself in peace and I could stumble about, still deliriously, tending to a still feverish Ben.

8. A doctor who, upon seeing us all, did everything he could to get us on the road to recovery and told me I was doing everything right and to keep it up. Joyful words to a mother's ears!

9. JC's boss being understanding and relinquishing claim on him for the morning when I literally could not get out of bed and when I tried, could hardly move but only lay there and cry. 

10. My mom (again) coming to the rescue when JC did head in to work later in the day to keep my older two busy and happy for a couple of hours while I did my very very best to keep Ben comfortable and content. Also, my mom being honest about her other committments and being willing to stick to them and let me be a big girl and handle my family because this is the kind of thing that keeps me from being eaten up by guilt for all the help she gives me, worrying that I'm making her neglect something else. It shows me that she trusts my ability to step up to the plate when I need to and it teaches me about balance, even in the life of a mom. :)

11. JC's colleague at work who took over his load of work for most of the afternoon/evening and told him to go home and take care of his family.

12. JC for doing so.

13. My dad for, on his birthday, coming over late at night to help JC give Ben a blessing. And then for talking like Kevin from The Office and making me laugh...even in the depths of despair. (This is not a phrase I use because I actually think I have the worst plot on the face of the earth, it is simply a quote from Anne of Green Gables...I use it when I am feeling like an overly-dramatic redhead.)

14. Priesthood blessings.

15. A worthy husband.

16. My mom giving James something fun to do on the day Bethany went to preschool and Ben still needed full-time soothing and cuddling. Also, picking Bethany up from preschool and keeping both of them until after dinner time so they could have a good day instead of a neglected day. This is also what enabled me to take Ben to Urgent Care to get his ears looked at, confirming thoughts of an ear infection. Knowing is half the battle!

17. A GREAT Pediatric Urgent Care right by our house where staff is kind and courteous, doctors are concerned, respectful and thorough and they call you back the next day to check on your kid.  Not the receptionist. The actual person who treated your little one. And actually remember who you are and why you were there. I am really picky when it comes to health care. This place makes me fly. By the way, being on Day 4 of horribly sickly/tending to horribly sickly baby/when does this leave time for a shower...I looked really really pretty when I braved leaving my house to take him there...

18. Being granted no gag reflex whatsoever for one day when I really needed it in dealing with a little one with tummy troubles. Something amazing happens when you are in a situation and have absolutely no "out." It's like you just look around, say "this is what it is and I have to do what I have to do" and...that's that!

19. Kids who went to bed with no resistence whatsoever on Friday night so sickly me wouldn't have to deal with three resistent kids by myself OR JC helping me with resistent kids and being late for his committment of taking our nephew to see David Copperfield. Neither had to happen. They went right to bed.

20. A quiet evening for me on Friday night and a bit more energy to boot. I cleaned the seemingly tornado-struck playroom while watchind a recorded episode of Ugly Betty. I am NOT grateful for a moth the size of a matchbox car (really...once it was dead we actually compared it) flying into the house while I was cleaning. At first I thought it was a humming bird so I shoo'd the cat away and tried to decide what to do. Then I realized it was a moth and all but threw the cat at it and demanded that he take care of it RIGHT NOW. After watching him play with it, slowly batting it to death, for a while, I gave in to my heeby-geebies and just left the room...had every intention of cleaning the kitchen next...had a coughing fit...had to go to bed. 

21. A fantastic father for my children who gets up with them early and lets me sleep in with Ben on the weekend then takes them out for pizza when they fill up their "obedience charts." (That's a whole other post...we have about a million lists, charts, etc. in this family...) James was Saturday. Bethany is coming up this Tuesday!

22. Gorgeous weather this weekend that allowed even the sickest of us (still me and Ben) to at least sit outside while the other kids rode their scooters and JC hauled out the "big trash" on Saturday morning.

23. A friend in the ward who did not come burn down my house when I had to back out of my committments for the ward party she was in charge of on Saturday night. I hadn't cooked for my family all week...chicken enchiladas were not going to be coming from my kitchen any time soon...and my singing part in the super-fun Broadway-themed dinner party. Maybe it made her feel better that I was actually really sad about missing it. :( The chance to sing?! On stage?! I don't care if it was for a goofy broadway spin-off. Sing! On stage! (sigh...)

24. A mother-in-law who brought dinner and hung out on Saturday night even though her previously-booked babysitting services were no longer needed. And, in doing so, introduced us to Cafe Rio's chicken soup. (I was still eating only soup at this point. Day four.) It was divine.

25. A husband willing to go out on an otherwise "in" night and get hot chocolate for me because something sweet sounded good and anything involving fruit stings my throat.

26. Good recorded Monk-n-Psych episodes to ease my "I don't get to sing tonight" pain.

27. A husband that mocks me for the fact that I keep apologizing for things that are not my fault (messy house, being sick, etc.) and who, when he notices I am self-conscious about the third-eye-blemish on my forehead says "You are beautiful." and then a while later..." . . . could you make it stop staring at me?"

28. The hope that kids are resilient and forgiving...after a day like today...

29. Everything I learned about ear infections and ways to treat them this week. Because now that my throat is starting to feel better, I'm pretty sure I have one.

30. The knowledge that prayers are answered. This didn't come to me this week...I've had it for most of my life, if not all. But I sure drew on that knowledge a lot. When you are holding your baby who is in pain and burning with fever...this is when the most fervent prayers are uttered...over and over again. Please please please.  When your kids are thirsting for your attention and care and you literally cannot give it, prayers of "reaching my reaching" fly up to heaven one after another. And when you sometimes feel like you're not getting the results you are looking for but can draw on, with complete confidence, the knowledge that your prayers are heard and answered, hope and faith pull together...along with the charity of others...to assure you that you are being watched, loved and cared for by someone who loves you and your sweet babies more than can be understood.

HOUSEHOLD UPDATE:

JC - playing wii fit as we speak (as I type/you read...?) Apparently feeling dandy. Only took him one day to bounce back from being sick. It was amazing. And he used every ounce of his energy this week to take care of us...whether by working to support us or physically caring for us here at home. I'm so glad he got to have a little night out this weekend to take in some magic instead of the raw reality he had to take in the rest of the week! 

Me - throat slowly getting better, energy about back to normal, ear infection starting but let's hope I can kick it quickly. Morale hanging in there. :)

Bethany - complained of a sore throat for part of the day but said it was better by the end of the day. We shall see! She is a trooper, that's for sure. She felt fine most of the week and helped me, hugged me and tried tried tried to obey me in order to keep the peace around here. She deserves some big time play time. Date with Daddy on Tuesday!

James - throwing some fantastic fits this weekend! They go in the record book, that's for sure. Coughing and congested but pretty content and even happy for the most part!  Let's keep our fingers crossed that he stays healthy this week...if anyone is going to catch whatever I had, it would be him. He's always the hardest hit. I hope I hope I hope he doesn't! BUT, after a really great wrestling match with JC tonight, he should be on a high for days. He loves wrestling with his daddy.

Ben - pain from his ear seemingly gone. Fever gone. Inability to be satisfied with any efforts to keep him happy? Still here. Probably due mostly to the fact that molars are still coming in. But, at least I know what I'm dealing with...like I said, half the battle. BUT, he is back to playing, back to laughing and still saying "wah yoo, 'night" whenever he is layed down to sleep. OH! And sleeping through the night (mostly) again. Best thing ever.

SO, a new week...I'm hoping to get back to sleeping, back to playing, back to cooking, back to cleaning and back to being aware of the general state of the world around me. 

Let's do this thing.